The Great Pretenders

I hate it when people like a facebook post saying that they are against bullying. What happened today with my junior and how schoolmates and people on the internet inspired todays post! So thank you so you cunts ;)

There was this girl I knew, she was 12. She had a really long term crush on this one boy who was in the same school as her. They were childhood buddies, knew each other for like what 8 years. But he forgot she existed once they turned 7.

So one day the gods were kind enough to let their paths cross. She then had the chance to show her vulnerable side and confess when he broke up with his girlfriend.  She did and it went well. They started "dating" and after a while and thank god the holidays were coming!

 Then one day, all hell broke loose.

She had a blog which she constantly kept up to date. She proceeded to check her tagboard (which at that point in time existed). It was filled with hateful and disgusting messages.

"You're so ugly."
"You're only acting cute tying your hair in pigtails."
"Break up with ____!"
"He's not seriously dating you."
"I can't believe you are such a heartless person, dating someone ______ likes!"
"Fuck you."
"Fucking ugly bitch."
"Attention seeker."
(The list goes on and on)

Side note: There was another girl who liked the boy very dearly and they were both friends. This other girl wasn't a bitch. She told people she was fine with her being together with the boy and that people should stop harassing her.

At that time people were still using MSN, I'm not saying they don't now but more people do last time. A very good friend of hers told her "You know ____ wants to get back with his ex." And she went "Okay..." Her friend replied "Then you're still gonna be with him?" To be honest she didn't know what to believe because another friend had told her that it was her good friend telling people to break their relationship and was spreading awful rumors. (Readers I know its confusing, so its 3 different people here at this point.)

She loved the boy, what was she going to do? Who to believe? In her heart she knew that she trusted him. She knew they were gonna last. She knew it was just a bunch of rumors.

She was wrong.

He broke her heart. Left her hanging alone. What was worse was that the holidays were ending pretty soon.

She had no friends. She was completely alone. Her friends wouldn't talk to her because they were so afraid of being the victims of ostracism. Heck! Her friends were the one who started the rampage.

Now we all know this girl didn't do ANYTHING wrong right? Yet she was victimized for god knows whatever reasons.

Then this girl who was 12 years of age committed suicide.....












Hah who am I kidding. That girl was me.

Don't worry, even though I was ostracised by like the whole Chinese P6 population I found a safe haven in other races. Can I say that? Thats not racist is it? Yeah I hung out with 2 other lovely Tamil girls who were in my class. I don't blame the girl who started it. I knew she wasn't a very pleasant person from the beginning and you know what? She tried to break up another couple. Yes, the girl was her bestfriend. From then on people knew she was a Grade A bitch :)

You must understand that it gets pretty lonely when you don't have friends. It hurts even more when what you're going through is caused by you friends. Its like you spend all your time with them and you share secrets for like years but in a matter of seconds it all goes away and you're left with nothing. Imagine having your friends scared to hang out with you. Imagine facing a bunch of horrible girls alone. Imagine your heart being shattered into a million pieces by a guy. Imagine going through a heart break alone. Imagine wanting to cry every single second in school and wanting to go home but its not a good enough excuse. That you have to walk the same corridor as your monsters. I want you to know that no physical pain can ever measure up to any psychological pain you experience. I know what I had experience isn't as bad as what others may have had but if I multiply my pain by like a 1000 I could understand.

I want to say everyone should be against bullying but its impossible to change society's mind alone, so by writing this post and even though not many people read it, I want you to make the differene. Don't let the little girl sit by herself alone at school. Don't let THAT person cry alone. Don't be afraid to talk to THAT person when nobody else does. Be the person who I wanted to be there for me.

With this note, I conclude another horrendously long post.
With lots of love, Ciao bellas ;)

Planning ahead!

I AM A HORRIBLE BLOGGER.

Well, lets just say I do not have the motivation to keep blogging or doing stuff. Its like I can't continue things..... urgh. Why Michelle why. Why do you even try? I'm sorry.... I need to name my blog. What should I call you....Billy the Blog? Yes you shall be Billy. Billys a cute name, I've never met anyone named Billy. For Christs sake. I'm getting off topic. Okay where was I? AH YES.

I WILL START BLOGGING AGAIN... AFTER CHRISTMAS.

The reason for this is because I'm lazy. I'm just gonna be brutally honest. I'm a lazy ass person who sits/lies on her bed all day whilst using my laptop. Tbh, I don't do much with my life ._. I haven't got a job, a boyfriend or a social life. Because(!), internet, you're my only friend. But the a tiny reason for this grand gesture is *drum rolls* I'll be moving out of the room I'm currently rotting in. I know what you're thinking. "But Michelle, where are you going to be rooming then?" Its like you guys (especially my friends who've been to my house) don't process the fact that I do have another room and there can be plans made to clear that room to make it mine. Geniuses. Which leads me to my next point!

THINGS TO INCLUDE IN MY NEW "NESTING AREA".

I have decided to (as you can tell from the title) to make my room abit more... how do I put this... abit more "my territory" hm, I quite like "my domain" better. MY DOMAIN IT SHALL BE. Yes first things first. I'd be getting a single bed now as oppose to the double decked bed me and my sister share. I'm taking her bed frame tho and I think she's taking mine to use it as a "couch" for her room. I'd probably be adding lights around the frame.

                                                     
                                    SCORE! I HAVE THAT BED LAMP AT THE SIDE!

I'd probably add a little side table just so I can put my iPhone charged right beside me and my mini book collections I've bought over the past few years. *_* I'm a nerd for reading so much and crying. I'd probably get cool bedsheets to match my awesomeness cause I'm hip like that. Bitches be trippin. I'm sorry for my language btw. Its 6AM in the morning and I decided to blog okay. NEXT... I'd have a wicker basket to put like magazines and beauty products i'll accumulate!

                                       
                      WOO ITS RHIANNON FAV YOUTUBER: FASHIONROCKSMYSOCKS

Yeah, she's sort of an inspiration for this. If you don't know me well you probably won't know that I'm obsessed with Seventeen Magazine? I've collected like 2-3 years worth of Seventeen Mags. Moving on! The next addition is *drum rolls* A clothing rack *o*

Mind you, I'm not trying to be "hipster" by adding a clothing rack in my room. Its just, I can't afford my own wardrobe and being such a understanding and caring daughter that my parents gave birth to, I tend not to ask them for stuff related to money. (I'll probably do a post about that issue another time!) I don't know, I just kinda like this idea, free and easy access to my clothing and it makes my room look kinda different to other ;) I'll be taking my own clothes tho I do share clothes with my older sis, meh we'll figure things out! Whats next I hear you ask.....

                      OF COURSE ART SUPPLIES CAUSE DUH ART STUDENT RIGHT HERE HONEY.

I've been loving art since I was in primary school and I've only gotten the way to perfect my own art in the last 2 years of secondary school. It was magic, suddenly everyone was good at art when we were secondary 4! Okay I need a mini art supply corner because I've been so mad that I don't have a space for art! I literally keep my supplies in a box or scattered around the room D: and I tend to lose things. DO YOU FREAKIN KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE IT IS TO LOSE ART THINGYS. I also want to continue art either in like studies or just in my free time because... hey I've finally found something I love. (well thats not true I love alot of things like singing.) Which brings me to my next point!

Getting more hipster I see but no. Stop. Well I'd paste a board full of photos on my wall, my moms quite particular about things I stick on the wall. OHMAHGHERD. I should get movie posters to stick onto my wall! Yes yes we're getting somewhere! Lastly, because this post is getting too long.

                                                       YUMMMM, WHATS THAT I SMELL?

Yes a scented candle! I'm gonna get a Yankee candle soon and probably get a nicely scented one where I can use throughout the year! I've been obsessing with getting my room to smell good. So yeah, thats it for todays post :) Sorry for being long winded.... DEAL WITH IT.

I'll do another blog post once its done! For anymore updates just follow my instagram: @blackcurse or my twitter: @MichelleeeLim :)

ciao bella!